Bullying brat
The other day we took my daughter and her buddy, both 11, to a park on their afternoon away from a two-week summer camp. They were telling us about a 9-year-old bully who pushed our dearest causing her to bust her specs, stole the last piece of newspaper for papier maché from the fingers of daughter's buddy and pushed Buddy causing a domino effect on a row of campers. So, how do the kiddies react to this bullying in a usually respectful environment? My kid says, "You're not gonna have any friends if you keep treating people like that." Exactly what I would've wanted her to say. Buddy says, "You gimme that paper back or I'll put glue on your shirt." Then does it. After the domino-effect incident, Buddy--small for her age and wiry of frame--squeezes the shit out of the bully's hands, leaving fingernail marks. Now, I'm as big a pacifist as they come (you know, pick up the spiders gently and deposit them on a plant outside) but inside I was cheering her on. After all, who do bullies pick on? The ones who don't react, right? (As friend Jo suggested in a conversation on this topic last week.) So which reaction turns the bully off to bullying a particular kid? Is a verbal reaction enough? Or does it take a slightly riskier physical response to get the kid to back off?
Or is a nasty kid just nasty to everybody?
posted by katake @ 7:41 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Nasty kids are nice to their parents. That way they do not get in trouble for doing nasty things.
Q
Unfortunately something is going on in that bully's home. Somebody is not treating him right. And he/she is probably verbally/physically abused. That said I would not like if my children were being bullied and my response would be to kick the bully's a$$ one good time and he will go pick on somebody else.
So, as a teacher, I see bullying from time to time in my classroom but more frequently in the halls or at lunch.
Most bullies will choose easy targets, those who don't stand up for themselves or generally have a weakness(few friends, awkward, different). I don't have an answer for the best response to bullying but I would say, a confident reaction will deter the bully.
Finally, yes, parents can be partially to blame for bully type personalities but I have had three students, from the same family and only one was a bully and the others were honor students etc. It's my opinion that bullying is a learned behavior but environment is the unknown variable.
E
My theory: Bullies are seeking attention and bad behaviour is the only way they know to get it.
I watched my friends get bullied in school (a few centuries ago) but no one ever picked on me. Why? I believe it was because they got no reaction whatsoever from me. I would behave as if I didn't see or hear them. My friends would burst into tears and that encouraged more bullying.
Perhaps one pointed, brief comment and followed by absolute indifference might work.
"[nasty kid's name], did you know that there are easier ways to get attention?" and smile!
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