Your Body is a Temple

Oh boy, oh boy. Please check out this article from the Washington Post about faith-based clinics. (Click on above title for link.) Their premise is that they do not provide birth control pills or devices, abortions, or fertility treatments since these practices are contrary to their beliefs. So, women who frequent this clinic are taught natural fertility management--which I have absolutely nothing against (I even own a book on it)-- in order to control the size of their families. (Wonder what happens to infertile couples? Guess they just have to adopt. Or is that against god's will, too?)

Sure, these doctors have joined together with the sole purpose of creating a place where women with the same beliefs as theirs will be comfortable and they attempt to make their principles clear. But what about all the other women who seek birth control and are refused? They are not even referred to an outside doctor because that would be encouraging methods that the Christian docs don't support. Yikes! How can the patient's needs be refused by a doctor? By separating themselves from mainstream medicine, are such doctors contributing to the shortage of medical professionals? I suppose they only treat married women, too. Talk about closing one's eyes to reality.

These doctors and their church supporters claim that women going to non-member gynecologists find themselves ridiculed for not wanting to use prescription birth control. I find that hard to swallow. A choice is a choice. My doctor respects my choice to use the method that matches my desires and values, and only feels obligated to discuss statistical data and reported side effects. The final choice remains mine.

Whew, I'm all in a tizzy. I think what irks me most is that such practices are based on religion. One more way we divide ourselves and place only some of us on that higher moral pedestal.

Just to See Dar

My favorite singer/songwriter finally played a show in our neck of the woods--or almost. Dar Williams, who sings mostly at colleges, small theaters and festivals in the U.S., came to the Ottawa folk festival on a rainy Sunday in August. I sneakily bought tickets online and then announced to my hubby and daughter that we were going to Ottawa overnight. During the two-hour drive to Ottawa and upon our arrival at the festival site, I was totally excited. Like jumping-up-and-down and smile-stuck-on-my-face excited (my poor embarassed 11-year old!). As we sat in the rain awaiting Dar's 6:30 show, we alternately covered our legs with a vinyl tablecloth and an umbrella. Just before her appearance, I spotted the singer herself, guitar slung over her shoulder, peeking through the curtain opening. "There she is!" I cried, like a star-crazed fan. The man sitting to my left glanced over at me. "I love Dar Williams," I informed him. Groan. I must've sounded like an idiot. But when she finally emerged and wittily introduced and performed The Babysitter is Here, I think he got an idea of what there is to love about Dar.

Dar Williams is a contemporary folk singer and songwriter. She writes about social and political issues, relationships, love, peace, war... basically everything that makes people think and act. Her music is simple yet melodic and never fails to strike a chord with me. Perhaps because we are of the same generation or maybe we just share similar experiences. Anyhow, she's a smart, funny, thoughtful, creative and fair-thinking gal. And I drove 4 hours roundtrip, rented a hotel room and kept my hubby away from work to see her live!

So, how was the show? Well, I think I would've preferred a smoky little bar. (No smoke, on second thought.) For one meagre hour, I sang along with her beautiful songs and enjoyed her detailed introductions. But the magic of seeing such a great musician in person was missing. Was the audience too spread out to connect? Was it too minimal to just have Dar alone on stage with her guitar? Was she a new artist to many of the listeners? I don't know. Maybe it was a combination of all these things, but it seemed a let-down to me, huge fan that I am.

So, the fact that I got to speak with her after the show made the effort to be there almost worth it! (I say "almost" because I would have liked to say more, but she was obviously eager to get outta there.) As we headed back to our seats after a break--and a trip for beer and popcorn--I spotted Dar standing with a few people near the exit from backstage. She had her guitar case and a canvas army style backpack plopped on the ground next to her. Damn, I didn't have the camera. But I squeezed in a comment and asked her to please come back to Montreal (she was here last December but I couldn't make the show). She said she'd love to come if we'd have her. Maybe she meant, if there are enough people who know her and would want to see a show. I'm not so sure it will come to pass.

Maybe I should just invite her to my house. I think her audience of three would show her the appreciation she deserves!

Bullying brat

The other day we took my daughter and her buddy, both 11, to a park on their afternoon away from a two-week summer camp. They were telling us about a 9-year-old bully who pushed our dearest causing her to bust her specs, stole the last piece of newspaper for papier maché from the fingers of daughter's buddy and pushed Buddy causing a domino effect on a row of campers. So, how do the kiddies react to this bullying in a usually respectful environment? My kid says, "You're not gonna have any friends if you keep treating people like that." Exactly what I would've wanted her to say. Buddy says, "You gimme that paper back or I'll put glue on your shirt." Then does it. After the domino-effect incident, Buddy--small for her age and wiry of frame--squeezes the shit out of the bully's hands, leaving fingernail marks. Now, I'm as big a pacifist as they come (you know, pick up the spiders gently and deposit them on a plant outside) but inside I was cheering her on. After all, who do bullies pick on? The ones who don't react, right? (As friend Jo suggested in a conversation on this topic last week.) So which reaction turns the bully off to bullying a particular kid? Is a verbal reaction enough? Or does it take a slightly riskier physical response to get the kid to back off?

Or is a nasty kid just nasty to everybody?